Ozone Park
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Ashley's Post Show Thoughts
Pig.
Well guys, we did it. And it obviously got great response. To be perfectly honest, I am really proud of us. We pulled it out and the performance was strong and it got great hype!
What I think is most reputable about our piece was the fact that it was a strictly ensemble piece. We all needed each other to pull it off, no one left out. Everyone was a vital part in the creation of the piece and everyone really relied on each other. I think everyone really came through and we did a wonderful job putting together a very lofty ensemble piece. No one was left behind. All cogs of the clock were working.
So, here are my thoughts.
Overall, I thought the performance went well for me personally. There was like one notable line flub that I experienced because of someone else's dropped lines but I think I pulled it out. What I tried to do the night before was examine all the notes that I had been given during our past runs and other rehearsals. I wrote them all out on a piece of paper that I could read clearly, I also reread all my text work and spoke each one of my lines the way I wanted to deliver them during the performance. I also envisioned Bernice's physicality and went through the show in my head with me keeping that physicality the entire time. I think the prep work really helped in the performance in the end.
There are a few things I wanted to address that I learned about this process after examining it outside for a few days and discussing with friends.
1. Talking about the past and making it relevant to the present. I think what was present in all the play projects was the notion of several monologues that told a story, revealing something about the past. I think a trap that actors easily fall into is reminiscing in the "historical" aspect of the story rather than living in it in the present. I think it is really easy for individuals to not keep it current and achieving an active objective. If the monologue is not active in its need to get a point across or tell someone something, it falls apart. There were some moments in almost every play project where I think actors struggled with keeping stories about the past present and relevant in the moment.
2. The notion of feeling during a scene. Something I would like to correlate between something I learned in Icons during Movement class and performing big was the notion about playing the feeling or feeling while you are in the scene. I never really understood's Matt's emphasis about going as far away from feeling as possible until I endure these two exercises. During my icons round 3, I honestly felt like SHIT and that I was doing horribly in my transitions between icons and that it wasn't seamless, but I just kept going knowing that my goal was to get through the exercise. The feedback I received after my icons was that it was the complete opposite of how I was feeling. I felt like it wasn't going very well at all but apparently it went pretty well and I received great feedback from my peers. With Pig, the aftermath felt great, hearing good things about the play project etc... but I felt really weird inside the entire time. Basically in the end what I learned on a first hand level is the unreliability of "feeling" something during a scene and how it is not smart to play emotion. It is all about the homework you have done, listening and staying present with your scene.
3. One of the personal note and feedback I received after play projects was the notion of commentary when in a scene. I find it very hard to play comedy sometimes, because I have a "ashley" within me who is always laughing at herself, etc... Bernice and George as the comedic relief in the play was something I did not realize until after the performance. Let me explain. I have struggled with this all year, but playing comedy is really hard for me sometimes. I struggled during animal projects with my naked mole rat being too funny and quirky. I would take myself out of her and laugh at myself. I hated when I did that to myself but it is something I struggled with and it came through during pig. Specifically during the dancing scene with Irene and Bernice and the Conga music. It took a lot of effort from me not to laugh at myself during the entire thing and I think that came through a little bit of me commenting on my performance. I received feedback from a peer about it and I think it was very important that I heard about it. It was something I was a little disappointed about and something I struggle with with playing comedy. Something to work on!
Anyways, I am really proud of us. Good job guys.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Taylor's Post-Performance Blog
Congratulations everybody! We got through it!
Yesterday's performance went much better than I had expected, but, at the same time, I wish we had another chance to do it again and make it even better.
I have this chronic illness called "nerves" and it never hits me until opening night, the nanosecond I am about to go on. Every time I open a show/play/scene/what have you, I usually let my nerves control me. Since we only had one shot at doing "Pig" for an audience, I had to figure out how to overcome my nerves so I could focus on the performance. Every time I started to get nervous, I just told myself that I was committing self-sabotage and pushed it out of my mind. The moment before I walked, rather, galumphed, onto the playing space, my nerves hit and I had this ingenious idea: I just breathed all of that energy and circulated it through my body and down to my pelvis. I wonder where I got that idea from... coughACTINGATCARNEGIEMELLONcough. I also put all of my focus on the people I was talking to in order to forget that the audience was there. This worked out very well. Although I did go up on a line, I think I kept my cool for the most part. Breathing was probably the thing that helped me most during the performance. There was a moment, after I had been fighting Peggy and Santos, that I fell on the floor and watched Dad pick up the gun. I realized that I was holding my breath so that I wouldn't make loud, distracting noises on stage (stupid middle school habits) and so I began to breathe very loudly and appropriately and it helped me live in the scene more than I had before. It's not like Matt tells us the importance of breathing every day or anything.
Something I need to work on is dropping my breath and letting my voice sit lower in my body. I realized after the show that my voice was coming from the neck up and it wasn't connected to my lower body. This is something I really want to focus on next semester.
Another thing I thought went well was the pacing. Seldom did anyone drop a line and everyone was pretty much listening to each other and responding off of that. It can be difficult in a play like this to listen to other people because so much of it consists of overlapping lines and cutting people off, but, at least for me, I don't think we fell into that trap very often, which is good. I think we all put or trust in each other to create a good performance and we were able to work off of each other with a lot of ease.
A big thing I need to work on is getting out of my head. There were many moments where I was just listening to the others around me and living in the world, but there were many moments where I was thinking about what action I was going to play or I would think, "Oh, look, Barbara is sitting right there..." and so on. I think if this were a show where there was multiple runs I would be able to achieve that, because, the first performance with an audience is always the scariest and we all want to do well. This is something else I am going to work on next semester.
Overall, this was an incredible experience and I am so grateful to have been a part of it. I hope this functions as a nice send off to Matt because we all wanted to make you proud. Everyone was so wonderful to work with and I'm glad we have this experience to call our own and share it with each other. Good luck to everyone and see you in the fall!
Yesterday's performance went much better than I had expected, but, at the same time, I wish we had another chance to do it again and make it even better.
I have this chronic illness called "nerves" and it never hits me until opening night, the nanosecond I am about to go on. Every time I open a show/play/scene/what have you, I usually let my nerves control me. Since we only had one shot at doing "Pig" for an audience, I had to figure out how to overcome my nerves so I could focus on the performance. Every time I started to get nervous, I just told myself that I was committing self-sabotage and pushed it out of my mind. The moment before I walked, rather, galumphed, onto the playing space, my nerves hit and I had this ingenious idea: I just breathed all of that energy and circulated it through my body and down to my pelvis. I wonder where I got that idea from... coughACTINGATCARNEGIEMELLONcough. I also put all of my focus on the people I was talking to in order to forget that the audience was there. This worked out very well. Although I did go up on a line, I think I kept my cool for the most part. Breathing was probably the thing that helped me most during the performance. There was a moment, after I had been fighting Peggy and Santos, that I fell on the floor and watched Dad pick up the gun. I realized that I was holding my breath so that I wouldn't make loud, distracting noises on stage (stupid middle school habits) and so I began to breathe very loudly and appropriately and it helped me live in the scene more than I had before. It's not like Matt tells us the importance of breathing every day or anything.
Something I need to work on is dropping my breath and letting my voice sit lower in my body. I realized after the show that my voice was coming from the neck up and it wasn't connected to my lower body. This is something I really want to focus on next semester.
Another thing I thought went well was the pacing. Seldom did anyone drop a line and everyone was pretty much listening to each other and responding off of that. It can be difficult in a play like this to listen to other people because so much of it consists of overlapping lines and cutting people off, but, at least for me, I don't think we fell into that trap very often, which is good. I think we all put or trust in each other to create a good performance and we were able to work off of each other with a lot of ease.
A big thing I need to work on is getting out of my head. There were many moments where I was just listening to the others around me and living in the world, but there were many moments where I was thinking about what action I was going to play or I would think, "Oh, look, Barbara is sitting right there..." and so on. I think if this were a show where there was multiple runs I would be able to achieve that, because, the first performance with an audience is always the scariest and we all want to do well. This is something else I am going to work on next semester.
Overall, this was an incredible experience and I am so grateful to have been a part of it. I hope this functions as a nice send off to Matt because we all wanted to make you proud. Everyone was so wonderful to work with and I'm glad we have this experience to call our own and share it with each other. Good luck to everyone and see you in the fall!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Performance Reflection
During the show today I was worried I would be too fast so I consciously tried to slow down and take my time and for once I didn’t feel super eager to please the audience. I stayed focused on my activities. I really connected with what you said about finding actions that you really like because then you will remember them and it showed today, I would find when I was anchored in and when I strayed. I found my amount of pacing and focus surprising. My focus was a bit bad because I kept getting in my head but I also kept stopping myself and forcing myself to engage again. It was not nearly as bad as usual and I hope that my moments of disengagement weren’t too noticeable. These moments tended to be when I occupied myself a little too much with my activities. I also missed a few lines today but I don’t even know that they were noticed, the cast really just plowed right through and I didn’t even realize that I’d missed them until it was over. I was a little surprised actually because I realized I was really on top of the ones that I usually miss.
The only moment I was really disappointed with myself in was in my charades moment. I read the “Memory Bird” book and did research on battered women but I don’t think that I incorporated it enough into the rest of my character enough so that moment of being a “broken” woman felt really un-truthful every time that we ran it. I could understand the ideas but I couldn’t fully surrender to them as Peggy because she was so resilient and persistent. I don’t think I confronted how Peggy dealt with the issue enough. I think I made choices with her and fell too in love with her to be flexible about the effects of the abuse. There are many ways to cope and to react but I don’t think that I decidedly specifically enough, I should’ve found more moments where she was effected. I don’t think there was indication at all of the abuse aside from that moment, making it less important. If there had been questionable moments with me I could’ve “explained” them to the audience during that moment, making it more powerful. I think that it also didn’t work because my stakes weren’t high enough; I believe that this is the first time that she’s talked about it in a real, honest way so it should’ve been far more difficult to drag out from me. Another small mistake- the “rubber room” line. I still forgot to emphasize the “Rubber” part. Small, but I realized it in the moment, that’s how I knew I was in my head.
Another interesting thing was how I responded to the audience, having them there for the first time. I kept finding myself accidentally look at them whilst trying to just look around the yard. It is an interesting issue, I didn’t want to look at them but when they would have a big reaction I would instinctively glance but I was able to stop after a bit, it was just something that I had to get used to. The audience also added a new, interesting, obstacle though. I felt trapped in by them, which I’d never physically felt before. This is my super-objective- to escape and break the cycle and I was never able to actually feel it because of the space before but it was really nice to play with. For example, after George was carried out I really wanted to run out but Jason was right by the door and people were surrounding the rest of the yard and I really felt the small size of the space for the first time.
Overall today though, I felt okay about my performance. I was listening far more than usual actually. I was so comfortable with all of my work that I was able to be really present for the most part. I was also able to stay active without distracting myself for once. Before when I would file my nails or things I would get so into it that I would actually forget to listen and not hear my line cues. Also today I felt a really truthful connection with Jeananne today. I’ve been exploring moments to relate to her and moments to rival with her and finally today I felt like I found the balance with her and Maureen. I felt good about our performance today the only thing I really really regret not doing is sleeping more, I feel as if I would have been a bit more focused too.
This was the most fun show to work on and I always had an amazing time laughing with you guys and exploring this incredible show. Thank you so much for always having patience with me and for bringing so much heart and hard work to class, it really made me want to work harder and do the best that we could possibly do.
Last Pig Blog
First of all congrats guys!!! This was truly just a wonderful experience and process working on this with all of you. I am very proud of all of us and what we put up at the end.
It's hard to really gather my thoughts clearly about our performance when people keep commenting about it around me and I am so confused on how it actually went because it seems like almost a whirlwind to me looking back on it. I thought we did a good job of letting the adrenaline from having an audience propel us and give us power and strength during the performance. Everyone onstage was so strong and ready. For me, it was an interesting experience to say the least. I had to remind myself before the show continuously to not worry about my sickness and focus on "living" in Irene and the world of "Pig". I had to keep telling myself in my head to stop stressing about what people will think because I find myself doing that all the time here at CMU. I am glad that through the performance I didn't second guess myself or let myself worry about what the audience was thinking. I committed to just being present. It definitely didn't feel like the best performance, but feelings are unreliable. I wish we could have performed it a few more times because I wasn't use to such a responsive audience present in the room. There is so much I keep going back and forth on like well I could've done this or I could not have done that. What makes me satisfied is that we affected our audience in a powerful way whether it be positive or negative. Everyone I talked to had such strong things to say about "PIG" even Midell who told me that she was very disappointed with me in "PIG" because I displayed unhealthy voice usage. Thinking back, yes I actually did at some points, but the performance is over so there is nothing to do about it. This experience and the aftermath was and is so interesting. I still can't believe people when they say "it was the best play project ever," because to me it was just an good, ok performance on my side. But then again, feelings are unreliable, but there were things I could've done better and things I was really happy with in the performance. Overall, I am so thankful for this experience. This cast was amazing and I loved watching everyone grow within the play. This play itself is a wonderful piece and I feel lucky I got to perform it (especially for the writer).
I am very proud of our crazy wonderful show. Thanks guys for everything!
-Z
It's hard to really gather my thoughts clearly about our performance when people keep commenting about it around me and I am so confused on how it actually went because it seems like almost a whirlwind to me looking back on it. I thought we did a good job of letting the adrenaline from having an audience propel us and give us power and strength during the performance. Everyone onstage was so strong and ready. For me, it was an interesting experience to say the least. I had to remind myself before the show continuously to not worry about my sickness and focus on "living" in Irene and the world of "Pig". I had to keep telling myself in my head to stop stressing about what people will think because I find myself doing that all the time here at CMU. I am glad that through the performance I didn't second guess myself or let myself worry about what the audience was thinking. I committed to just being present. It definitely didn't feel like the best performance, but feelings are unreliable. I wish we could have performed it a few more times because I wasn't use to such a responsive audience present in the room. There is so much I keep going back and forth on like well I could've done this or I could not have done that. What makes me satisfied is that we affected our audience in a powerful way whether it be positive or negative. Everyone I talked to had such strong things to say about "PIG" even Midell who told me that she was very disappointed with me in "PIG" because I displayed unhealthy voice usage. Thinking back, yes I actually did at some points, but the performance is over so there is nothing to do about it. This experience and the aftermath was and is so interesting. I still can't believe people when they say "it was the best play project ever," because to me it was just an good, ok performance on my side. But then again, feelings are unreliable, but there were things I could've done better and things I was really happy with in the performance. Overall, I am so thankful for this experience. This cast was amazing and I loved watching everyone grow within the play. This play itself is a wonderful piece and I feel lucky I got to perform it (especially for the writer).
I am very proud of our crazy wonderful show. Thanks guys for everything!
-Z
After-show thoughts.
We did it. We performed Pig. And Bottom Line: We nailed it. I'm so proud of everybody and it was a pleasure to work with all of you on this terrific play.
That being said. I didn't realize we had nailed it until we walked out for the "Bows". In fact, I thought it was going terribly.
Here's why:
When I walked onto the stage at the top of the show while Matt was giving his opening speech, I had a mini freakout. The same mini freakout any actor might get when they open a show in front of a large, and my I say influential, audience. However, I pulled myself together a split second later and began the show.
A few lines in a realized something was wrong. Lines weren't getting laughs where they should and it just seemed like the energy was really low. I noticed that I wasn't filling the space nearly as much as I should have been, and that my lines sounded flat and flimsy like middle-schooler doing his first play. Fortunately, I just went through two semesters of acting training at Carnegie Mellon so I knew a few ways to get myself more grounded. I started bringing in things we've been learning since the start: Incorporating viewpoints and Laban work, expanding my ribs, and sinking even more into the physicality of a gorilla. (building on the stuff I was doing before the show started). As the scenes went on I found myself getting more into the Where and being way more present in the world of Pig. I'm just pissed that I actually had to slowly do it, instead of jumping right in from the start like I should have. I guess that happens when you let the fear of grades and social perception get in the way of your craft. ...Stupid me.
Anyway, by the time I reached the end of my time onstage I felt much more grounded, present and real in the life of Jack. But when I walked off stage I still had this sense of "That was awful." But, thus is life and I had to accept my fate. I continued the show doing the sound effects and listening to the show and noticing what the audinece reacted to and what they didn't. Once more I noticed that a lot of the jokes were not landing and getting the laughs that I expected. Even while backstage I the same look of "I sucked just now" on the faces of some of the other cast members, and it seemed as if none of us felt particularly good about hat we had done that day. MAybe I'm wrong, but it seemed we were all being pretty self-depricating during the whole thing.
But then the show ended and we walked onstage to accept any sort of applause, and boy were we greeted with applause. I looked out and saw looks of shock, joy, and disbelief on the faces of classmates, upperclassmen, and teachers alike. I was a bit taken aback to say the least.
They loved it. They absolutely loved it. The comments I got from people after the show were some of the best compliments I've ever gotten, not just as a performer, but as a person! People I had barely spoken two words to were hugging me a telling me that it was amazing. Frankly, I couldn't believe it. In those few moments I looked back on the show, the whole process and realized we were amazing. All of our hard work had paid off and we had just performed what some people had described as the best play project they had ever seen. I don't know about you guys, but afterwards I was ecstatic. Yes, I still knew we had made mistakes and that it wasn't perfect, but art never is.
As the day went on, I heard some comments from people that I found very interesting. They ranged from arguments about what people thought was really in the bag, (It's like the hatch on LOST!) Whether Jack was Gay or not, and whether or not the charades game was actually believable. But what I noticed from people's comments that affected me the most was that the reason a lot of the jokes weren't landing was because the audience couldn't hear us.
What was bothering me during the first few scenes was exactly what was happening. That's probably the thing I would focus on most if we ever got to perform this show again. Getting more grounded and filling the space enough with my body and my voice.
After stewing in my own thoughts, the thoughts of my fellow creative team (all of you), and the thoughts of the audience, I came to the conclusion that we put on a Damn good show. Even with our mistakes and our judgements of our own performances, the audiences adored it. And in my opinion, what the audience thinks about it is the most important thing. If they loved it, then we did exactly what we came to this school to learn. We did our job, and boy did we do our job well.
I love you guys, thanks for making this an incredibly fulfilling semester.
That being said. I didn't realize we had nailed it until we walked out for the "Bows". In fact, I thought it was going terribly.
Here's why:
When I walked onto the stage at the top of the show while Matt was giving his opening speech, I had a mini freakout. The same mini freakout any actor might get when they open a show in front of a large, and my I say influential, audience. However, I pulled myself together a split second later and began the show.
A few lines in a realized something was wrong. Lines weren't getting laughs where they should and it just seemed like the energy was really low. I noticed that I wasn't filling the space nearly as much as I should have been, and that my lines sounded flat and flimsy like middle-schooler doing his first play. Fortunately, I just went through two semesters of acting training at Carnegie Mellon so I knew a few ways to get myself more grounded. I started bringing in things we've been learning since the start: Incorporating viewpoints and Laban work, expanding my ribs, and sinking even more into the physicality of a gorilla. (building on the stuff I was doing before the show started). As the scenes went on I found myself getting more into the Where and being way more present in the world of Pig. I'm just pissed that I actually had to slowly do it, instead of jumping right in from the start like I should have. I guess that happens when you let the fear of grades and social perception get in the way of your craft. ...Stupid me.
Anyway, by the time I reached the end of my time onstage I felt much more grounded, present and real in the life of Jack. But when I walked off stage I still had this sense of "That was awful." But, thus is life and I had to accept my fate. I continued the show doing the sound effects and listening to the show and noticing what the audinece reacted to and what they didn't. Once more I noticed that a lot of the jokes were not landing and getting the laughs that I expected. Even while backstage I the same look of "I sucked just now" on the faces of some of the other cast members, and it seemed as if none of us felt particularly good about hat we had done that day. MAybe I'm wrong, but it seemed we were all being pretty self-depricating during the whole thing.
But then the show ended and we walked onstage to accept any sort of applause, and boy were we greeted with applause. I looked out and saw looks of shock, joy, and disbelief on the faces of classmates, upperclassmen, and teachers alike. I was a bit taken aback to say the least.
They loved it. They absolutely loved it. The comments I got from people after the show were some of the best compliments I've ever gotten, not just as a performer, but as a person! People I had barely spoken two words to were hugging me a telling me that it was amazing. Frankly, I couldn't believe it. In those few moments I looked back on the show, the whole process and realized we were amazing. All of our hard work had paid off and we had just performed what some people had described as the best play project they had ever seen. I don't know about you guys, but afterwards I was ecstatic. Yes, I still knew we had made mistakes and that it wasn't perfect, but art never is.
As the day went on, I heard some comments from people that I found very interesting. They ranged from arguments about what people thought was really in the bag, (It's like the hatch on LOST!) Whether Jack was Gay or not, and whether or not the charades game was actually believable. But what I noticed from people's comments that affected me the most was that the reason a lot of the jokes weren't landing was because the audience couldn't hear us.
What was bothering me during the first few scenes was exactly what was happening. That's probably the thing I would focus on most if we ever got to perform this show again. Getting more grounded and filling the space enough with my body and my voice.
After stewing in my own thoughts, the thoughts of my fellow creative team (all of you), and the thoughts of the audience, I came to the conclusion that we put on a Damn good show. Even with our mistakes and our judgements of our own performances, the audiences adored it. And in my opinion, what the audience thinks about it is the most important thing. If they loved it, then we did exactly what we came to this school to learn. We did our job, and boy did we do our job well.
I love you guys, thanks for making this an incredibly fulfilling semester.
Journal Entry: Performance
First thing is first: I would like to congratulate everyone involved! From some of the feedback I have been receiving, "Pig" was something that nobody has seen in a Play Project in some time, and something of which we all should be very proud. It has been an absolute pleasure working with all of you, and I look forward to doing it again in the upcoming years.
Strong:
What I really noticed about our performance was how well we were tethered together and listening to one another. The pacing, which we worked so arduously on, somehow came effortlessly with an audience in the room. Moments that we struggled with in rehearsal were brought to life when an audience kept us accountable for making sense of it. And I think those last two days of rehearsal were to thank for our exception showcase of listening ability. It seems to me that the moment we began to take this project seriously, like we were really performing it, the play's pace, and arch, and feel was really opened to us. One of the lessons I will take away from this piece is the importance of knowing what production you are in. We found our production in the run-throughs we had on Monday and Tuesday night. And that I believe informed every choice we made, making in affective and meaningful to an audience.
For me personally, I was pleased in the fact that I achieved the goal I set out for myself prior to the performance. I felt that I had separated my focus from "what action am I doing" to listening and responding to my fellow cast members and the audience. And it was that focus, and letting go of the work that I believe made the showing an enjoyable event.
Weak:
For me personally, and is true of other members of the cast, in the actual performance of the piece, I felt extremely, what Barbara would call, "heady." Thomas Douglas in his class today asked the question, "how can we fully give ourselves over to the work if we judge ourselves in the midst of doing it?" He said that, and my thoughts instantly went to my performance yesterday. I kept finding myself having moments where my thoughts would stray into "How is this going?" or "Did I really just say it like that?" and other useless similar questions, whose only real affect was to distract me from what I wanted from my fellow characters. I thought that there was an aspect of my performance of Wednesday that was trying to re-achieve the moments that occurred on Monday and Tuesday night. The performance was not entirely based on that, but moments of it were definitely present.
Interesting:
I know I am not the only one in the cast that "felt" this way about their performance. And yet, people have taken the performance as one of the best Play Projects that they had ever seen. That disconnect is astonishing to me. I don't know how that can be possible; that the audience loves a show that the actors don't feel was the strongest. What it reveals is exactly what Matt says about "feeling." That it is completely unreliable. But for me that raises the question of what you do rely on. I think that I have found the answer, and it can all be found in scoring a script. An actor must rely on simple Objectives, Obstacles, and Actions. If you make what you want, what is standing in your way, and what tactic you are going to use to get what you want absolutely clear to yourself, and then embody those thoughts physically, then all you have to do is follow through on that homework and you need not rely on anything else. It really reveals the importance of the rehearsal process, and maps out what you need to complete in a rehearsal process. Its all just so simple. And I think for me that was the biggest lesson that I needed to take away from Play Projects.
Congratulations again, my friends. A very, very good start.
K
Thomas's Post-Performance Post
In the aftermath of yesterday's performance, I sometimes find it difficult not to frame my thoughts in terms of feelings. But it shouldn't be surprising that I felt good about being it afterward. What is interesting is that during the performance itself, I'm not sure I can say I felt anything definitively.
Sure there were moments and flashes of 'feeling,' but feeling is unreliable and when I try and remember how I 'felt' during the performance, I come up with very few solid things to say. I remember thinking a lot. I remember moment-to-moment responses to things that happened. And I think I was concentrating hard on being aware of myself and the other performers, rather than on what the character was particularly feeling. And overall, I'd say that's a good thing. I was very focused on others, in particular. From my very first moment on stage where I run into Jeanann, I'm totally invested in her reaction. I'm looking at her face and seeing it for the first time in 4 years and seeing her expression change in reaction to me and reacting to that. By endowing these characters with meaning--Irene is the source of comfort and care, albeit often from a false place, Jack is the aggressor I so desperately want to love me, and Jeanann is the outlier, the unknown that I'm trying to win over--I can then react instinctively and actively to them based on what they say and do.
So that, I'd say, was a very good thing about my work yesterday. What was perhaps not so good is that I sometimes felt that my own work became a little unspecific when I wasn't reacting to particular things. For instance during the confrontation scene with the gun, I felt that my cursing was a little weak. I have trouble dealing with that line because I think it's a reaction to my own total confusion as to what my next move should be, but it always feels weak. There I go using the 'feel' word again, so maybe it doesn't actually come across as badly as it seems at the time. But I don't know. That line always feels awkward for me.
Overall, I didn't feel too in-my-head and I thought I was very present and active. It was a good run for me for that reason. I was on-edge in all the right ways and I'm proud of my work.
It's also been an interesting experience in terms of how I've used text-work. Ingrid always said that some people begin to do a lot of their text-work mentally--and I think that describes me pretty well. I'm not disputing the value of actual written text-work at all; on the contrary I think it's especially important for me to practice getting things down on paper because that definitely helps me solidify things. But once written down, I found the text-work really lived in my head and was much more... well, alive and mutable in positive ways there. When I looked over my written text-work at night I often thought it was incomplete and skeletal compared to my mental framework.
I don't know if this means that I need to just get in the habit of writing more things down or if I'm still not doing text-work "correctly," if there is a "correct" way. But I do think the text-work I did write down was helpful. But that was just a sort of starting scaffold for the rest of my choices. But maybe that's the way text-work is supposed to operate. You give yourself a very specific outline of your arc and of moment-to-moment details and then let it go and let it breathe in you during the rehearsals and performance, and make discoveries within it or outside of it there.
Anyway, good experience overall. Again, I'm very proud of myself and of everyone else. I think we really kicked ass up there.
- Thomas
Sure there were moments and flashes of 'feeling,' but feeling is unreliable and when I try and remember how I 'felt' during the performance, I come up with very few solid things to say. I remember thinking a lot. I remember moment-to-moment responses to things that happened. And I think I was concentrating hard on being aware of myself and the other performers, rather than on what the character was particularly feeling. And overall, I'd say that's a good thing. I was very focused on others, in particular. From my very first moment on stage where I run into Jeanann, I'm totally invested in her reaction. I'm looking at her face and seeing it for the first time in 4 years and seeing her expression change in reaction to me and reacting to that. By endowing these characters with meaning--Irene is the source of comfort and care, albeit often from a false place, Jack is the aggressor I so desperately want to love me, and Jeanann is the outlier, the unknown that I'm trying to win over--I can then react instinctively and actively to them based on what they say and do.
So that, I'd say, was a very good thing about my work yesterday. What was perhaps not so good is that I sometimes felt that my own work became a little unspecific when I wasn't reacting to particular things. For instance during the confrontation scene with the gun, I felt that my cursing was a little weak. I have trouble dealing with that line because I think it's a reaction to my own total confusion as to what my next move should be, but it always feels weak. There I go using the 'feel' word again, so maybe it doesn't actually come across as badly as it seems at the time. But I don't know. That line always feels awkward for me.
Overall, I didn't feel too in-my-head and I thought I was very present and active. It was a good run for me for that reason. I was on-edge in all the right ways and I'm proud of my work.
It's also been an interesting experience in terms of how I've used text-work. Ingrid always said that some people begin to do a lot of their text-work mentally--and I think that describes me pretty well. I'm not disputing the value of actual written text-work at all; on the contrary I think it's especially important for me to practice getting things down on paper because that definitely helps me solidify things. But once written down, I found the text-work really lived in my head and was much more... well, alive and mutable in positive ways there. When I looked over my written text-work at night I often thought it was incomplete and skeletal compared to my mental framework.
I don't know if this means that I need to just get in the habit of writing more things down or if I'm still not doing text-work "correctly," if there is a "correct" way. But I do think the text-work I did write down was helpful. But that was just a sort of starting scaffold for the rest of my choices. But maybe that's the way text-work is supposed to operate. You give yourself a very specific outline of your arc and of moment-to-moment details and then let it go and let it breathe in you during the rehearsals and performance, and make discoveries within it or outside of it there.
Anyway, good experience overall. Again, I'm very proud of myself and of everyone else. I think we really kicked ass up there.
- Thomas
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Post-Performance
Thoughts on today's performance:
- The effect of the audience. The audience's presence today made a huge impact on our performance, for the better I think. I want to pinpoint the effect in a number of ways, the first being the effect on the rhythm and pacing. What's interesting about having an audience is that suddenly there are expectations - if you start with a certain pace, the audience expects to be brought along at that pace. When the pace picks up, like it does soon after Jeanann's entrance, these expectations actually helped us - the audience became a support for us. This works because every time we pause, or there is silence, this is always a pregnant pause because the audience is waiting for what comes next, and we have to give it to them. Then, when the audience laughs, this allows us, the characters, to pause naturally to listen to each other without an awkward silence - so the laughing of the audience was also a support to the natural listening pace of the play. We've all probably experienced this before, the way the audience laughter supports the rhythm of a comedic play like PIG, but I think in this case in particular the laughter strengthened the rhythm of the piece because the play is so complex, and there are so many lines coming from so many different places. But as Matt said, the audience wasn't laughing for nothing; we earned it. So congratulations everyone.
- The laughing of the audience also had a huge effect on my character in particular, George. What was interesting for me is that, since I don't have many lines, and almost all provide some outside comedic relief to the scene, my lines set me up as "the guy who we can rely on to say something funny." After I realized this (around my 4th line), I realized I had a real dilemma here: how to maintain a character and not a caricature, as Tammy said yesterday, but of course how to also live up to the expectations of my comedic lines and keep the audience laughing. How I did this was by 1st of all NOT thinking about the fact that I was facing a dilemma - I knew that that would just take me out of the scene and make me un-present. Instead, I realized that I could say my funny lines, get those laughs, but maintain the reality of the character by staying active even when I didn't have lines. So when I didn't have lines, I gave myself natural actions that would "fill out" my character, in a sense; give the audience something to see about George besides his funny lines. These actions were eating chips, teasing Bernice, drinking beer, and then, in the more serious moments when the gun comes out, working to control my breathing and all that. Although of course in Act II I didn't have to worry so much about being funny when I, George, was handling the much more serious issue of facing a claustrophobia-induced panic attack. So I was happy with the amount of laughs I got, but I also worked adamantly to tread the fine line of character and caricature and present someone real to the audience.
- Another effect the audience had on me, on a more personal level, is that my heart was simply RACING for most of the play! Of course it was the excitement of being onstage, performing, but where it tripped me up is when I started to pull out of the character and start thinking about how the play was going, and how my next line would fit within the pace of the play. I remember this happening with my line "I almost went to 'Nam. But I got a heart condition." I was thinking about the new Jack, and what the audience was thinking about the new Jack, and whether the entrance of the new Jack had changed the pace of the play, and then I thought about how my upcoming line would fit within the conversation Jack and Santos were having, and I thought about how I would approach it, and then all of a sudden, before I knew it: BAM I missed the line. I missed it by a small beat, but I felt it. So as something that I need to work on for the future, worrying about the audience and what they think or will think about the play as it is going on will take me out of the moment, make me inactive in the scene. Instead, if I keep listening actively and stay present, I don't need to worry about a thing.
- Finally, I felt really good about the physicality of George. Putting in the gray makeup yesterday made me suddenly realize how old George was, and with his heart condition, it made sense for me to weaken his physicality. So I hunched his shoulders, slowed his movements, widened his stance a bit, leading with my head and tops of my shoulders. It really helped me get into the age of the character, which helped me get into the mindset of the character - someone who had been living for a long time, a lot longer than I have.
Otherwise, I agree with Matt that today was a strong performance. With everyone active and participating, there was an energy this morning that I haven't felt during a performance in a while. It was a lot of fun working with you guys, and I will miss playing with you. I'm not taking Acting next year, but I'll still be coming to your performances, so watch out! Much love.
Jackson duBlanc
Jeanann's Pre-Show Blog
So it's about an hour before showtime. I didn't blog last night because I really didn't know what to say... I'm still not sure of what I want to say. Last night's rehearsal was probably my best rehearsal so far. I got all my lines down, filled them with actions, and realized that I had developed strong opinions about everything that was said. I also think I found that argumentative teenager place in my body. I also found moments where I was genuinely happy and enjoying myself, which was something that I didn't have before.
I just hope I can do that again.
For today's show I just need to focus on focusing on the other people around me and to relax. I don't want to sabotage myself and get myself caught up in getting nervous. At this point I have done my homework and I need to let it go. I hope I learn more about Jeanann this time around and I really hope I get her energy right. I still don't know how to do that consistantly, which is something I need to work on, but I hope I get it right this time.
Good luck all!
I just hope I can do that again.
For today's show I just need to focus on focusing on the other people around me and to relax. I don't want to sabotage myself and get myself caught up in getting nervous. At this point I have done my homework and I need to let it go. I hope I learn more about Jeanann this time around and I really hope I get her energy right. I still don't know how to do that consistantly, which is something I need to work on, but I hope I get it right this time.
Good luck all!
Thoughts before final performance
So I've been disgustingly sick for this past weekend and after last night was not feeling too hot about the performance. All my work I had put in went out the window last night during our dress rehearsal and that scared the (pardon me but) shit out of me. So I decided to blog this morning after I had a good rest to think things over.
This has been a wonderful and exciting process. This play has so many layers to it that I find every day. It is very exciting and inspiring. And now after re-doing my textwork numerous times, getting the physicality of my character, finding her inner gorilla, finding the love in her, I just have to take a step back and now just "fuck it and do it" and not over think and stress. Everyone is doing so well and now all we must focus on is having fun with it, listen to each other, and commit to beyond the fullest.
So here I am in purnell and 7:40 am and I have finally decided to put last night behind me and not worry and just live in Irene today. I can't strive for perfection, but for total commitment in the world of Irene and give it all I got.
-Zanny
This has been a wonderful and exciting process. This play has so many layers to it that I find every day. It is very exciting and inspiring. And now after re-doing my textwork numerous times, getting the physicality of my character, finding her inner gorilla, finding the love in her, I just have to take a step back and now just "fuck it and do it" and not over think and stress. Everyone is doing so well and now all we must focus on is having fun with it, listen to each other, and commit to beyond the fullest.
So here I am in purnell and 7:40 am and I have finally decided to put last night behind me and not worry and just live in Irene today. I can't strive for perfection, but for total commitment in the world of Irene and give it all I got.
-Zanny
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