First of all congrats guys!!! This was truly just a wonderful experience and process working on this with all of you. I am very proud of all of us and what we put up at the end.
It's hard to really gather my thoughts clearly about our performance when people keep commenting about it around me and I am so confused on how it actually went because it seems like almost a whirlwind to me looking back on it. I thought we did a good job of letting the adrenaline from having an audience propel us and give us power and strength during the performance. Everyone onstage was so strong and ready. For me, it was an interesting experience to say the least. I had to remind myself before the show continuously to not worry about my sickness and focus on "living" in Irene and the world of "Pig". I had to keep telling myself in my head to stop stressing about what people will think because I find myself doing that all the time here at CMU. I am glad that through the performance I didn't second guess myself or let myself worry about what the audience was thinking. I committed to just being present. It definitely didn't feel like the best performance, but feelings are unreliable. I wish we could have performed it a few more times because I wasn't use to such a responsive audience present in the room. There is so much I keep going back and forth on like well I could've done this or I could not have done that. What makes me satisfied is that we affected our audience in a powerful way whether it be positive or negative. Everyone I talked to had such strong things to say about "PIG" even Midell who told me that she was very disappointed with me in "PIG" because I displayed unhealthy voice usage. Thinking back, yes I actually did at some points, but the performance is over so there is nothing to do about it. This experience and the aftermath was and is so interesting. I still can't believe people when they say "it was the best play project ever," because to me it was just an good, ok performance on my side. But then again, feelings are unreliable, but there were things I could've done better and things I was really happy with in the performance. Overall, I am so thankful for this experience. This cast was amazing and I loved watching everyone grow within the play. This play itself is a wonderful piece and I feel lucky I got to perform it (especially for the writer).
I am very proud of our crazy wonderful show. Thanks guys for everything!
-Z
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